Elmer Neumanberg

My name is Elmer. I'm 89 years old. I had a can of spam for lunch today. Back in the war, we weren't allowed spam for lunch on account of the nazis were draining the rivers. And what's spam without a good river to sit next to. I went down to Joe's Nickel Theater to see the news, but Joe kicked me out. I snook in everyday and got to see free movies. I saw so many great classics like that movie about the whale and that one about the guy who loves his plane and then a gorilla comes up a building and then I fell asleep. My son recently bought me one of these DVD machines, but I don't like it. First of all, I can't find the on button and second of all it's silver, and I don't like silver. Once I saw a silver dime on the ground. I was homeless at the time, and Joe told me to pick it up and get myself a sandwich, but I didn't. And to this day... ummm... what was I talking about.... oh right, Glady's Confectioner Pop Shop. Well the thing about snow is it comes too often. I wish it would only come in the summertime when the bees are chirping and the woodland creatures are eating cave berries. My left toenail hurts. The toenail on my big toe. The doctor gave me some cream for it but the tube is silver, and I ate the cream on my wife Ethel's beautiful cakes. Ethel always made beautiful cakes except when she was in her prime, but.......... Oh, did I fall asleep again....because of the war I didn't have shoes to build.